That Time Again...

So nearly a year ago, I wrote a post about the anxieties of leaving home and starting a new season of life in New Orleans (this post). Well, once again, it's one week and I'm an emotional wreck. I'm sitting trying to figure out why I do this to myself and then for a moment everything becomes clam. Then suddenly, my heart feels like it's about to explode out of my chest because of all the feelings I have about going back.
It is that I don't want to go back? No. It is that I'm afraid to go back? No. It's just that it's different. It's a change and for some reason when the Good Lord wired me together, it seems like He didn't put that part together like everyone else. That's fine though. Since I can't handle the emotional stress of heading back to NOLA and leaving Choudrant behind for the better part of 10 months, I get to turn all of it over to the Lord. I get to say, often times with tears running down my face "OK, God, it's changing time again and you know that I can't handle this well at all so I'm letting you take completely over." I have to say that sentence nearly every hour of every day, and as the day gets closer it becomes every minute of everyday. I take a breath, I sit down, I breath deep and let God know that I'm ready for Him to completely take charge of just that minute I'm having a hard time. I just have to breath and let Him bring peace, comfort and reassurance. I'm relived that I can't do it. I'm so glad that the Lord of all Creation loves me enough to listen to me and remind me that the 6 hour drive to get to New Orleans, the 10 months of being away from my family, is going to bring Him glory. It's funny that I find myself caring more and more about that being the goal. I desire to with every fiber of my being to bring Him glory and to make Him famous. I want people see me and see that I'm different. I want them to ask me about Him so I can tell them about how good He's been to me and my family. I just want to bring Him glory and He's the only one that can enable me to bring Him the glory and honor that He richly deserves. So yeah, there's some anxiousness about going back and there's some emotional distress but God's going to use all of that to make His kingdom known to everyone I come into contact with and I'm humbled that He would choose me to be a worker for His fields.